Letting go can be challenging. We all have memories that we cherish, moments we wish we could return to and relive. You might hold on to anger from being treated unfairly or wish someone you loved hadn’t left. But holding on to unhealthy relationships, emotions, or people you can no longer have in your life isn’t good for you. “The Signs” by Girl Pow-R encourages you to stop romanticizing your sorrows and learn lessons from them instead so that you can move forward into a better life full of exciting beginnings.
What does it mean to let go?
When we define the meaning behind the phrase “let go,” we don’t literally talk about tangibly holding onto something in our hands. In psychology, letting go is more about mentally surrendering and releasing attachment to something. “The Signs” successfully encapsulates this sense of acknowledgment through the words: “I’ve been down this road before / Can’t ignore / The signs.”
Some lessons from unhealthy relationships and negative experiences teach us to stop fighting for certain people and things and actively embrace what needs to happen. The lyrics “You can’t make it up to me / Now I can clearly see / That you are / By far / Not what I’m looking for” encapsulate the acceptance of reality, which is an essential part of letting go.
Why does it hurt to let go?
As humans, we get attached to things, even things we realize are bad for us. For example, we get used to a relationship with a specific person, even if that person doesn’t treat us the way we deserve. Or, we invest a disproportional amount of energy into our jobs (even the ones we hate) to the extent that just thinking about quitting gets scary because we already identify ourselves too closely with our careers.
Getting rid of what makes us who we are today can be scary because we feel uncertainty towards the future. So we end up feeling stuck, longing for good and bad things in our lives, and afraid to move on.
Why move on?
Sometimes it feels more comfortable to resist the change. One research found that there’s a specific level of discomfort a person can manage before admitting the need for change. That’s why although we might realize that the past doesn’t bring us joy anymore, we choose to stay hopeful for some kind of magic, often turning our dissatisfaction and anger into passive aggression. And, as the song defines it, “It’s not just that one thing / One thing becomes two things.” But clinging to things and people we can no longer have is ultimately unhealthy for our well-being. It traps us in the mirages of our past and prevents us from encountering and appreciating what we have now.
Letting go of past negative emotions and unhealthy relationships allows us to open up to new opportunities and create space for healthy, genuine relationships. We learn to face our fears head-on, practice courage and navigate our lives in a way that brings us closer to achieving our goals.
How to let go
If you are addicted to your past, especially in a romantic sense, it can be hard to kick away that feeling of attraction or love. Do you find yourself trapped in a fake relationship or any past experiences that take control over your life? Consider these tips for letting go of them for good:
Reflect on whether you really want to let go
Take some time to ask yourself whether you are ready to let go. Does your relationship or experience bring you more joy than pain? Is it taking more from you than you are getting? If you feel like you aren’t ready to let it go, are you willing to continue working on improving this part of your life?
Today’s world is moving too fast with advanced technologies offering endless options – from fashion to fast food and even speed dating. Sometimes, we take things for granted, so it’s easier for us to give up on them too soon. So take all the time you need to reflect on your situation.
Feel it
Letting go of anger, uncertainty and fear can be painful. Manipulative people, unhealthy relationships, disappointment and loss, can really hurt. Nevertheless, to move forward, it is necessary to feel the pain. When we learn lessons from our pain, we see and experience better things in our present and future.
Stay positive
When moving on, think of the exciting possibilities to come and stay hopeful. One study shows that when we expect the best, we heal faster.
Forgive
When blaming someone, we get trapped in assumptions about people’s intentions and actions. Instead of assuming they are purposely cruel to us, we can learn about what we can do differently to get what we want in the future.
Practice self-compassion
Regardless of who initiated a break-up, being self-compassionate is a practical tool for recovering emotional wounds and moving on effectively.
Surrender
When you most feel like you “Can’t go through the pain / Pretending’s just a shame” and want to give up and run away, consider surrendering, going with the flow of life. When you fully acknowledge your situation, you get free from fear and uncertainty, and you are more likely to be able to do something about it. Although letting go of control may be challenging, it can welcome peace, happiness, a new opportunity, or love into your life.
Takeaway
Letting go is a tough mental challenge. In the line “I’ve been down this road before,” Girl Pow-R accentuates that it doesn’t happen overnight. But if you feel like you are pretending to be happy when you are hurting inside, it’s worth practicing until you get good at it. Hopefully, “The Signs,” and this article will help you let go of anything that no longer serves you to move on to a happier life.
Want to learn more about letting go of fear, worry and indecision? Read Sarah Jeanne Browne’s article in Forbes and find more suggestions on moving forward at Mind Body Green .
Get even more motivational content by visiting Girl Pow-R’s website or contacting info(at)girlpow-r.com. Find “The Signs” and Girl Pow-R’s latest songs on Spotify and make sure you catch the music video on YouTube!