Are you in a relationship with someone who makes you feel less than your worth? Do they attempt to control everything that you do? Do they subtly sabotage your good feelings and good moods? Do you feel like you never do anything right no matter how much you try?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be caught in a toxic relationship, and Girl Pow-R’s song “The Signs” may be written just for you.
The first verse of the song “The Signs” begins with the line: “Can’t go through the pain. Pretending’s just a shame.” Sadly, unhealthy relationships are common. You mustn’t pretend that anger, violence, or control are expressions of friendship or love. It is harmful behaviour, and it is unsafe.
Being abused is nothing to be ashamed of, as everyone experiences at least one toxic relationship in their lifetime. Certain people and circumstances in life can cause us to feel bad about ourselves, be it a colleague, a friend, a family member, or a romantic relationship.
The pre-chorus of the song “The Signs” highlights the turning point in unhealthy relationships where the abused finally sees the abuser for who they really are: “Now I can clearly see that you are by far not what I’m looking for.” Detecting the toxic influences an individual has over you and taking steps to create boundaries is the first step toward freedom.
It may be hard to spot, but toxic people all have common characteristics. The chorus to Girl Pow-R’s “The Signs” puts it this way: “It’s not just that one thing, one thing becomes two things.”. In essence, a toxic person’s negative influences are numerous and cut across every area of your life. Below are a few of the traits of a toxic individual:
- Mean: They make you feel bad about yourself. Toxic people often use insults to make the abused feel bad.
- Judgmental: Everyone exhibits this trait from time to time, but a toxic person is judgmental almost all of the time.
- Negative by nature: A toxic person never sees anything good about life. The individual will find something wrong with everything.
- Self-seeking and narcissistic: Toxic people care primarily about themselves. They do not think about their actions’ consequences and how they affect others.
- Takers: Toxic people always take and ask for favours but are only sometimes available or never available when you need them.
Toxic people can be likened to the Paragon (Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects). They strip you of your self-worth like Paragon drains her victims of their life force. Unhealthy relationships are like that- “Life-Draining.”
The good news is that there is a way out of such unhealthy relationships. One of the keys is knowing when to prune relationships to maintain a healthy and happy life.
So how do you remove yourself from a toxic relationship if you are in one?
- Face the fact: The pre-chorus in “The Signs” mentions “I realized the truth, don’t know what I saw in you.” In essence, you must admit you are in an unhealthy relationship.
- Try Honesty & Assertiveness: Let people know how they make you feel.
- Set Boundaries: This will take getting used to, but you must learn to say “no” to things that make you uncomfortable.
- Find Positive Relationships: Find and befriend people who inspire and bring you joy.
- End Unhealthy Relationships: Girl Pow-R’s “The Signs,” says, “You I won’t miss. Can’t take anymore.” If the relationship is not worth the time, effort, and energy, it might be time to end the toxic relationship.
Having relationship issues does not mean they cannot be salvaged. As you evaluate your relationships ( Use the healthy relationship wheel by Family Planning National Training Center), you must also appreciate and be grateful for your healthy and wholesome relationships.
Furthermore, if you keep having to free yourself from unhealthy relationships, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and everything will be okay.
In the long run, letting go of toxic relationships in most cases will help the toxic friend or person recognize their shortcomings and make changes they need for healthier future relationships.
Girl Pow-R is an all-girl, pop-rock group. With over 55 performed shows since May 2017, Girl Pow-R continues to work tirelessly to be a force to reckon with in the Canadian pop-rock music landscape.
To learn more about Girl Pow-R explore their website here. Watch “The Signs” and other videos by the girl band on YouTube.