Bonding with your daughter is a meaningful and rewarding journey, though certainly one that can be unpredictable! It can be hard to know exactly what to do as a parent, but here are some strategies to strengthen your connection and relationship:
Spend Quality Time Together:
Dedicate one-on-one time for activities that you both enjoy. This can be anything from a movie night to a nature hike — things that let you relax and explore your interests together. Spending quality leisure time with your daughter is a great way to learn more about the kind of person she’s growing up to be, as well as how you both click together in the varied experiences life has to offer.
Active Listening:
Practice active listening when she talks. Show genuine interest in her thoughts, feelings, and experiences — she’s a young person still learning who she is and what she likes, learn who she is alongside her! Making your daughter feel genuinely heard and respected is key to forming a strong bond that will last a lifetime.
Share Experiences:
Share your own experiences, and stories from your life. This can create opportunities for meaningful conversations, and it can help her gain some more perspective on her own experiences. You’re a mentor for her, show her how you became the person you are so she has an easier time figuring out who she is. After all, it’s likely you’ll have some similarities!
Open Communication:
Foster open and honest communication with your daughter. Let her know she can come to you with any questions or concerns, without judgment. You’re here to support her regardless of anything that might come her way – make sure she knows that. Remind her that there are no stupid questions, and any mistakes are an opportunity to grow!
Support Her Interests:
Show support and enthusiasm for her hobbies and interests, even if they differ from your own. She is her own person, even if she and you are very similar, and it’s important that she’s able to feel like an individual as she grows older. You don’t have to understand everything she’s interested in right away; the same way she learns from you, you learn from her!
Encourage Independence:
Encourage your daughter to make age-appropriate decisions and take on responsibilities. This helps build self-confidence and independence, and it prepares her for life as an adult. Start small and allow your expectations of her to grow alongside her. Frame responsibility as something challenging, but rewarding!
Be a Role Model:
Be a positive role model to your daughter by demonstrating the values and behaviors you wish to instill in her. Try to be the best version of yourself you can be, through all the ups and downs that come your way. There is no better way to teach her how to live a good life than to demonstrate it to her every day! Be empathetic and compassionate with her, more than anything that will inspire her to be kind.
Celebrate Achievements:
Celebrate her achievements, no matter how small. Acknowledge her efforts and successes, how impressive it is each time she learns and grows. Whether this is winning an award, getting amazing grades, or even something as simple as remembering to do a chore she’s forgetful about — make her feel good about putting that work in!
Share Family Traditions:
Create and share family traditions that have personal significance. These traditions can strengthen your family bonding with your daughter. Involve her in family events, explain the significance of heirlooms or the traditions in your house — all of it can make your daughter feel more connected to her family, and by extension, her place in the world.
Respect Her Opinions:
Respect your daughter’s opinions and encourage her to express her views, even if they differ from yours. This promotes independence and critical thinking. She and you won’t always agree, the same as any two people, but the important thing in any relationship is the ability to resolve conflict agreeably together. An argument doesn’t have to be something terrible, oftentimes it can be another opportunity to expand your understanding of the world, and each other.
Explore New Activities Together:
Try new activities or hobbies together. Exploring new interests can be a fun way to bond with your daughter, as well as a great way to discover amazing things you may never have thought you’d enjoy. Even if sometimes things aren’t your favourite, that experience is one more thing you can learn about yourselves, and each other!
Be Present:
Be fully present when bonding with your daughter. Put away distractions like phones and focus on your time together, and encourage her to do the same. As much as it may feel like it, multitasking isn’t really a thing: you’re just rapidly switching between tasks in your mind. To fully engage in the time you and your daughter are spending together, take things easy!
Support Her Goals:
Support her academic and personal goals. Help her set realistic goals and provide guidance in achieving them. Encourage your daughter to push herself, and be there for her when things go awry. Help her learn how to achieve success, while also learning how to grow from failures.
Apologize When Necessary:
If you make a mistake or have a disagreement, be willing to apologize and show that you value her feelings. Though you are her parent and that comes with authority, she is a person who deserves the same dignity as any other adult. Give her grace when she’s in the wrong, and be willing to humble yourself when it’s you who’s made a mistake. You’re learning and growing too, even when you’re grown up.
Be Patient:
Be patient during challenging times or phases. Adolescence can bring about changes, and patience is essential. You can’t always be prepared for what the future holds, which can be scary and frustrating, but as things come, feel confident in yourself and in your daughter. Things will work out in the end, even as they change in ways you never could have imagined.
Encourage Self-Care:
Teach her the importance of self-care and self-love. Encourage healthy habits for physical and emotional well-being, and make sure she knows she’s a valuable and unique person. It can be easy to feel insignificant or insecure, especially now with social media making it feel impossible to avoid comparisons with celebrities. Encourage her to appreciate all the parts of her that make your daughter who she is, and discourage her from comparing herself to other people. Healthy self-worth will set her up for a happy life regardless of the path she takes.
Create a Safe Space:
Ensure she feels safe and comfortable discussing sensitive topics with you. Be a source of support during difficult moments. Growing up is hard, even without life throwing curveballs – as it so often does. Be your daughter’s rock, someone she can rely on to support her and protect her when she’s struggling. Encourage her to be open with you, and make sure the trust she has in you is well founded.
Express Love and Affection:
Regularly express your love and affection through words and gestures. Let her know how much you care. It seems like a very simple thing, but in fact it’s so simple that it’s easy to forget how important “I love you” is. Be intentional with your affection, it isn’t something to be shy about, or take for granted.
Remember that bonding with your daughter is an ongoing process that requires patience, empathy, and effort. Each child is unique, so tailor your approach to her personality and needs. By fostering a loving and supportive relationship, you can create a strong and beautiful bond that you both will treasure!
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